Jaded...

Felt incredibly exhausted and drained lately--

wishing and wondering if it would be possible for time to move both quickly and slowly

Indeed, there are bad days. There are, however, also draining hours, days, weeks, and even months.

There are days when I have trouble falling asleep, days when I desperately need to sleep, and days when I experience both.

Sometimes I wonder what anxiety is, am I feeling it as of the moment? or am I being too emotional?

Sometimes I wonder if this is what adulthood is like---if this is what life is like.

Or maybe I'm just getting older, and my responsibilities, goals, and life visions are shifting

I also considered the thought that I might just be too lazy, because I'm not given the luxury of having some downtime or a break.

Regardless, I feel enormously proud of myself of how I manage to get by each day.

I'm not sure of how I did manage it, but I do remember telling myself to "just keep going" to move things along more quickly.

At the same time, I wonder why I made such bad decisions.

Do I really enjoy torturing myself and pushing this pitiful version of myself to the brink of a cliff?

I know days will get better--- I'll get better

I just need to keep breathing and taking a couple of short breaks will do

It might be beneficial to cry and let everything out

Overthinking, however, wouldn't be of much use or benefit.

Maybe this is something I should know, and perhaps, you too----  at times, It's okay to get tired and to cry a little out loud. <3